Bar Fog
Bar Fog
This is the title that is used for anyone that seems to hang around the bar just a little too long. They dont necessarily talk too much, they dont necessarily drink too much. But they are there and youd rather not have them there.
They are those kinds of people that make you mildly uncomfortable and seem like they have no other goal in life but to spend their life at your bar. You would pity these people but you would rather them just go away. Heres a few examples at peppers.
Gimpy:
My least favorite of the bar fog where I work. Hes in his mid to late 50's and I call him gimpy because he has one leg that is shorter than the other. Cause to feel sorry for him? none at all. He is one of those kinds of guys that likes to tell you what he thinks regardless if you want to hear. When I was a host he called me useless because he considered my job to be unimportant. When I snapped at him one day for saying "hey useless, get me a phone book", the managers made me apologize to him. I still havent actually done it. Anyone who would disrespect anyone and still expect them to help is a very dumb person.
There is rarely a night that I work that he is not at the bar. The problem with guys like him is that he spends more time at a bar than at home or at work. I went out to eat at an outback once and I found him sitting there, sipping on his usual white russian. I went to a chinese restaurant and I found him sipping another white russian. Apparently he frequents several bars. Where is his life? Its probably lost in his divorce and liver problems.
Toothy:
Toothy is actually bar fog I usually like. He gets red headed sluts (peach schnapps and jager I believe) and a bottled miller light regardless if drafts are on happy hour. His wife is about to become a black belt in karate. He has two kids that I remember him telling me about and he has a very sucessful business that he runs. He owns a fairly sized house with a huge yard in an area where an appartment can cost more than some houses elsewhere. Yet hes never at his office and preffers playing Golden Tee, the arcade golf game that somehow is popular. Even with all the money he tosses out drinking expensive drinks, he still doesnt replace the front tooth thats missing. Hes a nice guy to talk to but I think he needs to spend more time with his family or on his dental work.
Old Smoker Chicks:
These are no women in particular. You can notice them at just about any bar at any time. These are the women that are entering their forties but dress as if they are in their twenties. The smoke that constantly comes from their cigarettes have left their skin yellow, wrinkled, and all around un-youthful. They also tend to be overly tanned and seem to purposfully wear their thongs on their hips when their jeans start at their crack.
Some are missing teeth, some are missing hair. They get drunk and hit on anything they think might have a penis. There was one time where one grabbed an employees balls from behind with a death grip. When I asked him what happened he simply told me that for a brief second, he was her bitch. Being male, I can tell you, it is not easy to grab a mans testicles from behind and make him sound like a soprano.
These women need to act their age, and stop thinking they can pick up an attractive young male for whatever motives they really have. Some nights, they scare me. Hell halth no fury...
The Fog Friends:
I dont know if anyone else has them but I have what I call "Fog Friends". They are the kinda bar fog that think you are their friend. They sit you down and tell you that you dont have to get their drinks right away. They offer to take you out for drinks one night when youre off but that night never comes. Some of them arent even good tippers. There isnt much problem with these people except for the usual problem with bar fog. They dont know when to go away. Theyll stay until midnight on nights we close at 11 and claim to have not known. Despite the fact that I was cleaning all around them and their table being the only squalid thing keeping me from going home. No tip is worth me leaving over an hour after we close when I was supposed to get out 3 hours before.
Conclusion:
There are quite a few more unique types of bar fog. We have a gay guy that comes in to sip on captain morgan's while drinking a bud from a bottle. We also have a few old guys that just come in and like to talk to the bartenders or wait staff. Not all of them are bad, but they are fog. The difference between fog and regulars are about how they make the waiters feel. Fog is unwanted, regulars are genuinly welcomed.
Moral: If you fit any of the descriptions I just stated, think about the wait staff you effect. You may think they like you, but then again, you pay them to like you. If thats what you want, cool.
This is the title that is used for anyone that seems to hang around the bar just a little too long. They dont necessarily talk too much, they dont necessarily drink too much. But they are there and youd rather not have them there.
They are those kinds of people that make you mildly uncomfortable and seem like they have no other goal in life but to spend their life at your bar. You would pity these people but you would rather them just go away. Heres a few examples at peppers.
Gimpy:
My least favorite of the bar fog where I work. Hes in his mid to late 50's and I call him gimpy because he has one leg that is shorter than the other. Cause to feel sorry for him? none at all. He is one of those kinds of guys that likes to tell you what he thinks regardless if you want to hear. When I was a host he called me useless because he considered my job to be unimportant. When I snapped at him one day for saying "hey useless, get me a phone book", the managers made me apologize to him. I still havent actually done it. Anyone who would disrespect anyone and still expect them to help is a very dumb person.
There is rarely a night that I work that he is not at the bar. The problem with guys like him is that he spends more time at a bar than at home or at work. I went out to eat at an outback once and I found him sitting there, sipping on his usual white russian. I went to a chinese restaurant and I found him sipping another white russian. Apparently he frequents several bars. Where is his life? Its probably lost in his divorce and liver problems.
Toothy:
Toothy is actually bar fog I usually like. He gets red headed sluts (peach schnapps and jager I believe) and a bottled miller light regardless if drafts are on happy hour. His wife is about to become a black belt in karate. He has two kids that I remember him telling me about and he has a very sucessful business that he runs. He owns a fairly sized house with a huge yard in an area where an appartment can cost more than some houses elsewhere. Yet hes never at his office and preffers playing Golden Tee, the arcade golf game that somehow is popular. Even with all the money he tosses out drinking expensive drinks, he still doesnt replace the front tooth thats missing. Hes a nice guy to talk to but I think he needs to spend more time with his family or on his dental work.
Old Smoker Chicks:
These are no women in particular. You can notice them at just about any bar at any time. These are the women that are entering their forties but dress as if they are in their twenties. The smoke that constantly comes from their cigarettes have left their skin yellow, wrinkled, and all around un-youthful. They also tend to be overly tanned and seem to purposfully wear their thongs on their hips when their jeans start at their crack.
Some are missing teeth, some are missing hair. They get drunk and hit on anything they think might have a penis. There was one time where one grabbed an employees balls from behind with a death grip. When I asked him what happened he simply told me that for a brief second, he was her bitch. Being male, I can tell you, it is not easy to grab a mans testicles from behind and make him sound like a soprano.
These women need to act their age, and stop thinking they can pick up an attractive young male for whatever motives they really have. Some nights, they scare me. Hell halth no fury...
The Fog Friends:
I dont know if anyone else has them but I have what I call "Fog Friends". They are the kinda bar fog that think you are their friend. They sit you down and tell you that you dont have to get their drinks right away. They offer to take you out for drinks one night when youre off but that night never comes. Some of them arent even good tippers. There isnt much problem with these people except for the usual problem with bar fog. They dont know when to go away. Theyll stay until midnight on nights we close at 11 and claim to have not known. Despite the fact that I was cleaning all around them and their table being the only squalid thing keeping me from going home. No tip is worth me leaving over an hour after we close when I was supposed to get out 3 hours before.
Conclusion:
There are quite a few more unique types of bar fog. We have a gay guy that comes in to sip on captain morgan's while drinking a bud from a bottle. We also have a few old guys that just come in and like to talk to the bartenders or wait staff. Not all of them are bad, but they are fog. The difference between fog and regulars are about how they make the waiters feel. Fog is unwanted, regulars are genuinly welcomed.
Moral: If you fit any of the descriptions I just stated, think about the wait staff you effect. You may think they like you, but then again, you pay them to like you. If thats what you want, cool.
posted by Peppers waiter at 5:33 PM
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